Navigating Difficult Conversations …

with your staff

Common challenges

If you supervise people you already know eventually you will need to have a difficult conversation with one of your staff. In that context, the questions we hear most often are:

"How do I give feedback to my staff?"

"How do I manage under-performance?" 

Giving Feedback

The first thing to notice are the two metaphors "giving" and "feedback". When used in this context they are likely to create less than ideal outcomes - even if the feedback is "positive". See this blog post for more on that topic.

The Workshop

Learn the skills and confidence to master the conversations you’ve been putting off.

  • 5 x 2 hour Live Virtual Workshops

  • Free access to follow up sessions for 12 months

  • Downloadable workbook including worksheets

  • Choose Your Stories, Change Your Life eBook

See all workshop details

Managing Under-Performance

This is a big topic and much of it is out of scope for this website. Having said that, a vital element in that context is holding conversations with that staff member. We can talk here about that part.

Firstly, is it really an under-performance issue? Our experience is that often managers can assume the under-performance is a fact before having any conversations to find out what is really going on. Yes, you might know you are not getting what you need from that person but do you know why?

Secondly, if you have had the conversation/s to work out what is really going on there will inevitably be follow-up conversations of some kind irrespective of what you decide to do.

Effective conversations in this context are vital, especially in countries that have strong protections for unfair dismissal if that is the route you are heading down.

How the program can help

Being skilled at listening and asking questions is a core competency for any manager. There are some specific things you can practice in that regard and we teach those in our workshops.

Having generative frames around "feedback" and "performance" is also vital. Our stories about ourselves and others are so important here. Having ways to unpack your experience and that of the staff member so you can get to the core of what is really going on is, again, a core competency for any manager.

Be curious rather than critical or judgemental. A person (including yourself) will not be able to engage in an effective conversation while ever they feel threatened in some way. The perceived threat will inhibit the capacity to process language, apart from anything else.

Check out our workshop page for how we approach these issues.