Navigating Difficult Conversations …
with your colleagues
Common challenges
Theoretically there should be less power imbalance when talking to your colleagues than when you are managing or being managed and many people would say this makes talking with colleagues easier than with managers or staff. Our experience tells us this is not necessarily true - there are many "unofficial" hierarchies in a team of colleagues. Having said that, while power imbalances are a part of the equation they are not the determining factor.
A common metaphor used in this regard is whether a person is deemed to be "a team player". Questioning a colleague's behaviour can generate stories that one is "not on our team" even if it is not spoken out loud or in those words.
As sees in other contexts, the frame of "giving feedback" is a problematic one also present in groups of colleagues.
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Since we usually rely on our colleagues for work inputs and other supports the frame of "performance" with regards to other colleagues can also be present here.
How the program can help
Being skilled at listening and asking questions is an important way to build cohesion between colleagues. There are some specific things you can practice in that regard and we teach those in our workshops.
Having generative frames around "feedback" and "performance" is also vital. Our stories about ourselves and others are so important here. Having ways to unpack your experience and that of your colleagues so you can get to the core of what is really going on is, again, a core component of effective teams.
Be curious rather than critical or judgemental. A person (including yourself) will not be able to engage in an effective conversation while ever they feel threatened in some way. The perceived threat will inhibit the capacity to process language, apart from anything else.
Check out our workshop page for how we approach these issues.